where focus goes, energy flows
just a little thought for your weekend
My stomach has been driving me crazy lately. Let’s get nice and real here — I’ve always had problems with digestion. Never flows easy (aka I AM ALWAYS CONSTIPATED), and it bothers me basically every day. As someone who is quick to find and apply solutions to my problems, my shitty digestion (oxymoron in my case) is infuriating. It’s one giant whack-a-mole.
One thing I know for sure though is that when I focus on it, it gets worse. It literally gets more bloated and less easy to poop. It’s like when someone is bugging you and then you realize it and then you focus on it and then everything they do bugs you more than you could’ve ever imagined possible. Once you fixate on how loud they chew, you now can’t stand their scent or how they say their T’s or how they do literally anything.
What you focus on gets bigger.
This works for the good and bad.
In todays case, it’s working for the bad. Since I noticed how my tummy has been hurting, it’s literally all I can think about. Now, whatever it does (or worse—doesn’t do), it’s like it’s screaming at me. It’s louder than anything else.
What’s funny though is how… wrong? this can be. Like, if you decide to fixate on your arm, you’re gonna feel some weird shit. It was always doing stuff and being all arm-y, but now that you’re looking for it, your arm is about to wake the fuck up. It’s going to scare the shit out of you by doing nothing different than it has, but now you’re watching.
This weekend, I’m going to try to make my focus work for the good. I’m going to focus on nice things and make those bigger. Like how pretty Cam is when she doesn’t think she is. Or how unproblematic my right shin is. Like, I just focused on it and it’s just sitting there being a shin. Boring and stable and shinny. And that’s lovely! Not everyone has a shin. Not everyone’s is strong or dependable or a total chiller like mine is. I’m going to push some grateful energy there.
If you catch yourself feeling something you don’t want to feel — annoyed or fearful or like your boobs look weird or I don’t know, anything — try focusing on the opposite. Focus on who/what doesn’t annoy you. How great are they! Focus on your butt. It really do just be there, holding you on your chair, helping you lift your cute legs. Focus on hope. Hope begets hope. Give it energy. It’ll grow.
Talk soon.
Your friend,
Taryn
"It was always doing stuff and being all arm-y, but now that you’re looking for it, your arm is about to wake the fuck up." -- this is my favorite thing I've read in awhile haha. No really though, this was needed. Thank you for your never-ending wisdom! <3
this is amazing