happy everything and more

the daily taryn - jan 3rd

Oops. It's been a minute. Like… 4 holidays worth of minutes. So let me be the 30th person to say,

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Hannukah.

Merry Christmas.

Happy goodbye 2020.

Happy hi 2021.

Honestly, big woah energy. I’m feeling ~overwhelmed~ and then ~overwhelmed~ that I’m ~overwhelmed~ which I know many of you are nodding your head about. There’s something calming and comfy and nice and slow about the holidays, and then something chaotic and pressurizing and stress-flaming about the holidays.

It’s like “aw, relax honey! you done good things. enjoy. be thankful. be shh.”

But also, “biiiitch. woah. do everything. complete the goals and write the new ones. text everyone but don’t bug anyone. do. it. all.”

I was on a walking call with my therapist the other day when I tried to express the pressure I feel, and for someone who seems to have words for everything, I had none. Reflecting on therapy after therapy (because I’m sadistic lol), I’ve decided that I’m disappointed with myself. I think this might be a familiar feeling after a year stuck inside.

The things I wanted to do in 2020, I didn’t. I couldn’t. The things that I tie so heavily to my identity — like, showing up for friends over anything — I couldn’t do. I literally could not show up. The things I dreamt of doing creatively, I just didn’t have it in me.

But yay! 2020 is dead now! Everything that weighed me down is over now. All is well. I’m a great friend! A fit queen! A creative master!

I mean. Even though the “year” is over, the season is not. New years makes you wanna rethink your life and reinvent yourself, which I find powerful and unique to any other time of the year. Although we’re all a little deflated from 2020, this fresh start is still something. It’s an excuse. A push. A little tap, if that’s all you can handle, to try again. To try something new. Something different.

Don’t let the stress of it overwhelm you (I say to myself). Don’t shoot for the moon when you’ve got no fuel. Instead, match the energy you have, and then give 1% more. Just try a little more. A little better. A little.

Here’s how that looked for me this week. I do a group peloton ride with a few friends every week. Before this cute little tradition, I thought I was a star on that bike. A few rides in, I see that Tina is in fact the star on that bike. She beats us, always, and by a lot. It’s infuriating, because we all facetime after and she’s just… fine. I’m half DECEASED from trying to catch up to her, half defeated for just how far off I’ve landed. And she’s like, “good ride guys!!!!!!!!”

But this week, my new year energy did something else. I woke up before the ride, sat down to do my morning journaling and wrote this:

“i am an athlete, so I train like an athlete and think like an athlete and my results show it as proof.”

That ride was different. Not only did I get first (which means I crushed Tina sorry bb), but I hit a 30 minute personal record, and felt… good after. Not dead. Not nearly as tired as I feel after I ride trying to beat Tina. This time, I tried to beat me. Yes, Tina haha. But mostly me. And I did it.

I didn’t start some 3 month challenge or redo my diet or Marie Kondo my house. I just took 3 minutes to journal before a weekly ride, and encouraged myself to work a bit harder. Told myself I was capable. That it was in my blood. That it was possible. And voila. I did it.

If you get spooked by a new year with new pressures and more things to do and more chances to finally knock out your bucket list, try this. Try little improvements. Tiny habits. Small changes. 1% better.

Let me know how that goes for ya, my friends. Happy everything and welcome to a new year.

Talk soon.

Your friend,

Taryn

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