my newest core memory
april 7, 2025
are you ever in a moment and KNOW it’s currently making its way through your brain to cement itself as a core memory? that was me on tuesday.
some friends have started going to weekly bar trivia. it should be light and fun, but i treat it like the SATs with beer.
first week, we came in dead last. it was funny. i was dying inside, but i made myself feel better knowing i came late and missed half of the questions.
the next week, we were flying high. until we weren’t. again, we came in dead last. this was less funny. a team of literal brainiacs, “smooth brain can’t complain” won. you’re not smooth brain. i’m smooth brain. and i can, and will, complain.
that night, we made a clear goal: a win is not 1st place. a win is anything besides last place.
we’ve all been playing trivia games on our phone, watching jeopardy, absolutely cramming like our life depends on the tuesday night leaderboard. on trivia night eve, the group chat does roll call and only 3 of us can make it. we say fuck it and go regardless.
katie goes early to save a booth — maybe this will change our mojo.
as i’m walking in the bar, i feel a visual migraine coming on — they happen about once a year, and of course, this one falls on the biggest night of my academic career. i basically lose sight for 30 minutes and need to sit in quiet darkness. i forego that and instead walk into a noisy bar, put on sunglasses, then add black napkins to each lens, to block out any light possible.
we choose a different name, “saxon’s little brother” hoping it will save us from the bottom.
there are 4 rounds. 19 teams.
round 1.
the “quiz master” lol says “skyscraper” weird and we can’t stop repeating it. we also can’t stop getting everything right. we’re brilliant. we end the round in 1st place. we’re absolutely losing our minds. “smooth brain can’t complain” is pissed and believes there’s been a mistake. might’ve been. none of our business.
round 2.
all the answers are connected somehow and i’m convinced the connection is santa. it was not santa, but it really should’ve been. we end the round in 4th, tied with a bunch of teams. a fall from grace, but not irredeemable.
round 3.
questions about taylor swift’s cats, mobster shows, russia’s magazine lore, and state capitals with high elevation. Saxon’s Little Brother falls to 9th. smooth brain stays high. we keep saying skyscraper, but the joy is brings is waning.
round 4.
it’s the final round. we’re losing hope, but decide to go big. this trivia is unique because you not only guess the answer, but can also wager points based on how confident you are you got it right.
on the last question, we go absolutely balls to the walls and wager the most points possible.
we. get. it. right.
skyscraper reads the leaderboard. it’s getting higher and higher and our name hasn’t been listed.
in 5th place, not us
in 4th place, not us??? did we miss our name??
in 3rd place, what the fuck how isn’t it us
in 2nd place, SAXONS LITTLE BROTHER
and of course, in 1st, smooth brain.
we. were. screaming. you would’ve thought we won. we got a $25 gift card to use this week, when we come back as saxon’s little brother.
(WHITE LOTUS SPOILER COMING).
we can’t change our name, we’re too scared it’s bad luck. we will stay saxon’s little brother, who after the WL finale, is quite a picture of our team. looked like he was dead in the water for a minute there, but wasn’t at all.
2nd place never felt so good. may a win come for you soon.
your friend,
taryn