today, i wrote you a sad song

the daily taryn - march 31st 2021

hello my friends.

it’s a no caps kinda day, because your girl is getting hit from all sides. i got a root canal last week and it’s still impossible to chew on that side, so that’s fun. because of that, i’m on all sorts of pills — antibiotics and steriods galore. but this morning, i wrote you a song about the worst offender — my period, who has chosen to attack me from the inside out.

these original and depressing lyrics are:

1. awful. totally, totally awful. please don’t take this as me being serious.

2. meant to be sung to the tune of katy perry’s firework.

ahem:

do you ever feel like a crampy bitch 

who's bleeding and sad

just wants her mom and dad

-

do you ever feel not paper thin at all 

in fact the opposite

like a big matzo ball

-

do you ever feel like it’s time to give up

shed tears into a pad

or maybe a diva cup

-

do you know that there’s still a chance for you

cuz there’s still blood in you…

-

you just gotta give in

to it all 

just curl up

in a ball

just own the cramps 

grab a hand full of tamps

-

bb ur a crampy a bitchy 

it's sad but just deal with it 

when they hurt say ah ah ah 

and slam some mi dol dol dol 

-

anddddd scene.

thank you all. sending love and zero cramps and soft blankies.

talk soon.

your friend,

taryn

---

• If you’d like to comment/share thoughts/etc., please do in the comments of this post! I read and respond to everything.

• If you’d like to read other things I’ve made recently, head here.

• If you want to support this newsletter, you can 1) share it with people you love (tag me if you do!), 2) buy me a coffee, or 3) become a monthly member where you get stuff I only send to members. <3