I dare you to be who you need today.

o0o0oo0 you got called out.

It’s 6:22am here in chilly/pretty Los Angeles and I just woke up to let Riggy out to pee. I’ve got about an hour to relax in bed before I need to get up, feed the pups, make myself coffee, then hop on the phone for therapy. It’s gonna be a good one today — I need it.

Also though, I need me. And that’s lovely.

When’s the last time you enjoyed yourself, just by yourself? Not because someone else enjoyed you or liked your picture or texted back. I mean truly you, hanging with you, being buddies.

I’ll tell you mine. I was in our garage gym the other day, bopping around going back and forth from boxing to weight lifting to jump roping, with some Spotify-made Hype playlist blasting louder than our neighbors probably liked. Normal gym moment, nothing crazy. But I caught myself in the mirror and saw myself dancing. Not like, obnoxiously, but just grooving and having fun. Then I looked at myself and thought, “damn bitch — you be lookin fit right now. owwwww!” and I did a few little poses like you would at a friend who said you looked hot, then I laughed.

I was completely by myself, but we (myself and I) were VIBING. I felt like I was hanging out with a friend. It was so fun. Arguably more fun than hanging with other people, because me and my like the same stuff.

That moment had me thinking about how much we rely on other people. We need others to tell us that we’re fit or funny or smart or kind before we believe them, which is LITERALLY CRAZY.

It’s also unfulfilling. Think about times others have said something about you—that dress is so cute on you—and it’s like, “aw thanks.” Then you feel that same thing about yourself — damn, I feel like a bad ass bitch in this dress — and it feels like a rocket was strapped to your back. Believing it yourself, because you feel it, not because others do, has so much power.

I recently heard Matthew McConaghey — who’s shockingly wise — talk about how, at the end of the day, he is the only person he’s stuck with forever. Just himself and himself. Us.

Why do spend so much time and energy and mental whatever on how other people see us when what actually really matters is how we see us? I spend all fucking day with me. Just us. Two buds bopping through life.

If I tell a joke that I think is an actual work of art, I can laugh. That’s okay. I can make myself laugh. It’s fully okay that that the audience was small and only me.

If I cook a banger of a meal all by myself, I can be the taste tester and I can be impressed with myself. I can take pictures of my meal and not post them anywhere. I can be both the master chef junior and Gordon Ramsey — the chef and the judge — and I can be hopeful and excited and proud on both ends.

If I wake up the right side of the bed and feel like God and Oprah and Kobe have chosen today to be a great day for me, but my girlfriend or family or dogs or whatever are in a mood, I don’t have to switch ships. I don’t have to take the pep out of my step. I can hang with me, and we can have a great day.

I have a feeling I’m going to have one of those days. Sure, I’ve got cramps, but I’m just feeling like being light and having fun and enjoying my day and myself.

If you wake up feeling that way, try this — I dare you to be who you need today. Hang out with yourself today. Enjoy yourself. Give yourself advice. Laugh at your own jokes. Impress yourself.

You are never, ever alone. You are a whole ass person. You are with you. That’s so fun, so go have fun.

Talk soon my loves.

Your friend,

Taryn

---

• If you’d like to comment/share thoughts/etc., please do! I read and respond to everything.

• If you’d like to read other things I’ve made recently, head here.

• If you want to support this newsletter, you can 1) share it with people you love (tag me if you do!), 2) buy me a coffee, or 3) become a monthly member where you get stuff I only send to members. <3

Love you big time.