on doing the things that make you you

the daily taryn — january 5, 2025

hey little ones.

this is the first time in … maybe years? that i’m trusting a rule that i swear by — write to someone, not everyone. it helps you focus. it helps you open up. it’s like livestreaming to whoever vs. facetiming with a friend. you are a different person in those places. and to me, better writing — more authentic, raw, and ideally eventually entertaining writing — comes when you’re your best self.

so today, i begin my journey writing to you — my future kids. i hope you’re here one day to read this.

cam is curled up in bed. she’s in the thick of this cold/flu-but-not-the-flu because the flu sounds so scary thing that so many people have right now. i got it on christmas eve. your uncle brett said my sore throat was from too much holiday drinking, which i took as a minor insult since he always drinks less than me.

i gotta work on that.

anyway, i’m down in the new basement! and trying one of those new “creamy clicky keyboards” — ew. but it’s hurting my wrist. the height feels off. hang tight, lemme switch.

okay, back on my lil ass mac keyboard and i’m flying baby.

i came here to say a thing, so here i go.

i don't like when i don't do the things that make me me.

i’m a morning person. naturally too — i don’t even try, which is a gift i should never take for granted. so many people literally train to be morning people, and i just wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed first thing. generally around 6:07am, but since your mom and i have been sick, around 7.

fast forward to 8, 8:30, or this morning… 9:07!!!!! and i’m still in that damn bed. truly pisses me off. every morning i’m in that bed past 8am, i picture myself as the old people from the original charlie and the chocolate factory movie. underground (were they??) and sunken into a bed that’s gotten way too much use.

old me would’ve been done with a workout class by now. i’d have walked or driven somewhere, seen at least 20 faces — some new, some i’ve probably seen before, some i’ve definitely seen before — and completed a very hard thing. i’d have tried hard already, by this time. boxing, yoga, pilates, a walk, a run, reading to and from, listening to an audiobook. i’d have learned and lived.

but now, i’m in bed. rotting my lil pea brain on tiktok, collecting videos to show cam when she wakes up as if that’s just as important a task for the morning.

“look babe, look at what i’ve foraged for you this morning while you slept!!!”

when i finally get up, i do so annoyed at myself.

so this morning, as i was lying in bed begging riggins to stop licking frank, then listening to cam clear her stuffy nose, i realized i don’t have to do this.

i could just get up.

it doesn’t feel good to not do the things that make you you. and i haven’t been. i haven’t been waking up and moving my body or flexing my brain. i’ve tried to find a middle ground — i lay in bed doing crosswords (only the mondays) or rereading the same 10 lines i fell asleep rereading last night.

but it’s not the same as getting up. going vertical. putting my feet on the ground. taking my morning fluoxetine, chasing it with water, strapping on the ol’ apple watch, and putting one foot in front of the other.

i did it this morning. the dogs are fed. i already had water and coffee. and i’m in my little basement, click clacking on my normal keyboard that makes me happy, writing to you.

i’m back, baby.

it’s okay to get off track. we all do it. i just hope that when you do, you know it’s never too late to get back.

your friend — and your mom, but also always your friend,
taryn