It's the portion about "the people who aren't very religious anymore" that hit for me. I had a close group of Christian friends in high school. Granted, I'd always had a strange relationship with Christianity because my father is a gay man (product of my single mom wanting a kid and her best friend being willing to be a sperm donor). Several people who were a part of my then- friend group have since come out as well (one just proposed to her gf/now-fiancee this past weekend!) and when we catch up or run into each other we all talk about our religious trauma in the same way you speak of. But at the same time I feel tied to my faith and wedded to it in a way that feels almost unhealthy at this point. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic liver cancer back in September and, quite literally, unless there is a miracle, she will die from her cancer. All her treatments are considered palliative, not intended to cure her cancer. In August 2021 I probably would've said I had pretty much walked away from Christianity altogether, but now it's something my entire family is clinging to. Like you said, it is just heavy to realize it has brought me so much community and love and joy and hope, but so much trauma and fear, and now I feel like it's all I have left.
Hi! New here, this is my first newsletter and honestly it's pretty inspiring and also comforting? I had the opposite thought process that you had about people in your life being not cool about you being with a woman. I came out to my family when I was 20, in college, and had been about two weeks into my first same sex relationship. My family never openly talked about hating others for being part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I have an aunt who is gay, and no one really gave me any reason to think they would have a problem...fast forward to me coming out to my mom and her telling me I couldn't live at home anymore. It was quite the experience but taught me so much about resilience and being confident in the person I am. I learned to love myself despite my family and "friends" saying things like "conversion therapy works" and "but you don't like me like that right?" It was quite the rollercoaster but it truly made me stronger, as cliche as that sounds. I am glad I came out and am now happy, healthy, and learning every day to appreciate the people in my life who truly support and uplift me.
Thanks for being so open and sharing your story! I can't wait to do a deep dive into all your previous posts (:
I just recently left my church, that I was in the youth group of and was a young adult leader for the past year and a half because I couldn’t love who I wanted to love and serve and reading this was healing for me in so many ways I haven’t even fully processed yet so thank you Taryn💕
This was one of my favourite newsletters of yours so far, Taryn. I almost felt like I was reconnecting with people from my own past just by reading about your experience. It made me wonder how we can create community into adulthood without religion? For me, I’ve never been religious, but I think there’s something valuable and unique about bonding/working/spending time with others for a shared purpose (e.g. competitive sports). Unfortunately, as we get older, this feels challenging to duplicate.
It's the portion about "the people who aren't very religious anymore" that hit for me. I had a close group of Christian friends in high school. Granted, I'd always had a strange relationship with Christianity because my father is a gay man (product of my single mom wanting a kid and her best friend being willing to be a sperm donor). Several people who were a part of my then- friend group have since come out as well (one just proposed to her gf/now-fiancee this past weekend!) and when we catch up or run into each other we all talk about our religious trauma in the same way you speak of. But at the same time I feel tied to my faith and wedded to it in a way that feels almost unhealthy at this point. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic liver cancer back in September and, quite literally, unless there is a miracle, she will die from her cancer. All her treatments are considered palliative, not intended to cure her cancer. In August 2021 I probably would've said I had pretty much walked away from Christianity altogether, but now it's something my entire family is clinging to. Like you said, it is just heavy to realize it has brought me so much community and love and joy and hope, but so much trauma and fear, and now I feel like it's all I have left.
Hi! New here, this is my first newsletter and honestly it's pretty inspiring and also comforting? I had the opposite thought process that you had about people in your life being not cool about you being with a woman. I came out to my family when I was 20, in college, and had been about two weeks into my first same sex relationship. My family never openly talked about hating others for being part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I have an aunt who is gay, and no one really gave me any reason to think they would have a problem...fast forward to me coming out to my mom and her telling me I couldn't live at home anymore. It was quite the experience but taught me so much about resilience and being confident in the person I am. I learned to love myself despite my family and "friends" saying things like "conversion therapy works" and "but you don't like me like that right?" It was quite the rollercoaster but it truly made me stronger, as cliche as that sounds. I am glad I came out and am now happy, healthy, and learning every day to appreciate the people in my life who truly support and uplift me.
Thanks for being so open and sharing your story! I can't wait to do a deep dive into all your previous posts (:
-Samantha
I just recently left my church, that I was in the youth group of and was a young adult leader for the past year and a half because I couldn’t love who I wanted to love and serve and reading this was healing for me in so many ways I haven’t even fully processed yet so thank you Taryn💕
This was one of my favourite newsletters of yours so far, Taryn. I almost felt like I was reconnecting with people from my own past just by reading about your experience. It made me wonder how we can create community into adulthood without religion? For me, I’ve never been religious, but I think there’s something valuable and unique about bonding/working/spending time with others for a shared purpose (e.g. competitive sports). Unfortunately, as we get older, this feels challenging to duplicate.